The PERPETUAL QUESTION:
A reader wrote this to me privately recently:
Hi Red: I'm a regular reader of your blog, but I haven't yet disclosed my level of interest to my wife. Thought about it for a long time, but still waiting for the right time. Nevertheless, I'm sure I'm one of many that consider you somewhat of a legend in the F/M spanking scene, and consequently, I want to ask you for your opinion. If you don't find time to respond, it is Ok because I'm sure you receive many similar questions. I'm on a conference call the other day, while working from home, and I hear a little "ahh" from the next room. I listened for a couple of seconds, and realized the vacuuming continued to happen, banging against the wall. So, I knew that whatever happened was not some injury requiring my attention. However, later my wife walked by asking if I heard her make a noise. When I answered yes, she became very angry with me because I did not come running. Two days have passed, and she is still mad at me. She is feeling unimportant and hurt because I did not come to her rescue to make sure she was OK. I'm annoyed at her, because this "needing to be rescued and coddled" has happened numerous times now. While I think it is silly and immature, I find my spanking side wondering if this is a chance to suggest that future situations where she feels I have let her down, be met with spankings. On one hand, I think the notion of always being the victim and making me out to be the bad guy that isn't there for her is ludicrous, but on the other hand, I wonder if I should just suck it up and try and make something positive out of it.
This is where I wonder if you have some advice. You use spankings to solve problems, but do you use them to solve problems of this sort where you might think that you are right and she is wrong? Its funny, but I feel that regardless of who is right and who is wrong, if a spanking is involved, maybe I won't care so much. Anyway, great blog, and if you have any advice, it is much appreciated.
Thanks, MC.
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Well MC, maybe it is time to re-visit this topic, briefly.
I have no idea of how long you are married, how liberated or rigid your relationship is, and what other factors exist in your lives. All of these might change the answer.
Recommendation One: purchase the "Please spank me" booklet from the http://www.auntkaysdwc.com/ IT will give you a little more confidence, before discussing with your wife. Recommendation Two: Make certain that there are no problems to speak about for a while, so that the harmonious nature of your marriage is in a good phase. Every relationship has ups and downs, so don't broach the topic when other difficulties are present. Be open and honest with your wife, and bring the elephant out of the closet, and talk about your desires. Go slowly, and give her lots of time to think about it.
Recommendation Three: If she does not categorically dismiss the idea as childish and totally crazy, ask if she wold like to look at the DWC website. Remember to keep stressing that you do NOT want to be treated as a child, that she is NOT replacing your mother, but simply your partner, who may use spankings to create a more harmonious situation whenever she feels it is necessary. It allows her to be in charge, and when upset, have a way to deal with your transgressions.
Recommendation Four: When reading the DWC website, state that much of what is written is excellent, whereas other parts are "too over the top". Give her the power to decide how she might like to start implementing spanking in your relationship. I would also STRONGLY recommend buying the lifestyle kit.
Almost Lastly: Whether you think it trivial or serious, if she thinks you should be spanked for something she thinks is important, you must give up the right to say no! But the lifestyle kit, gives a well thought out plan of how to initiate spakings in your relationship...
Lastly: please start at my blog at the beginning, and skim to find out how spanking has developed between Cindy and I.
DEFINITELY MY LAST THOUGHT FOR NOW!! Nothing you read on this blog, or the DWC website will fit your exact situation. Also, some of what you read may be too extreme, whereas some which you read may be too mild! I find some of the people that wrote in Real People, or who signed the guest book at the Dwc website to be too extreme for our view of DWC. We also do not agree with any drawing of blood. Your partner may not by nature wish to cause pain. The idea of a dwc relationship is something that grows over time, as the improvements in your living together in love blossoms even fuller with spankings.
DEFINITELY MY LAST THOUGHT FOR NOW!! Nothing you read on this blog, or the DWC website will fit your exact situation. Also, some of what you read may be too extreme, whereas some which you read may be too mild! I find some of the people that wrote in Real People, or who signed the guest book at the Dwc website to be too extreme for our view of DWC. We also do not agree with any drawing of blood. Your partner may not by nature wish to cause pain. The idea of a dwc relationship is something that grows over time, as the improvements in your living together in love blossoms even fuller with spankings.
good luck
bottoms up
Red
Even though they might like to be spanked, they may not actually ask to be spanked during any given week. Here is the solution
Now, if they ever want to try taking a hands on approach of their own, simply to "test the waters"
However, remember the motto: Safe, Sane, Consensual!
