New Year's Eve

Wishing you all a merry and SAFE New Year Eve!

This is one week old, but really THINK ABOUT IT!

Do NOT Drink excessively, and then drive!

(as my readership shrinks, I need all of you to stay alive :)

We are invited to a party, and they said to bring some snacks, and I have no idea what they meant, so I thought I would bring some fucking cookies

Some humor to remind you to stay sober..

I MIGHT JUST LOSE MY DRIVERS' LICENCE (This one is GOOD!)

I think, I may lose my drivers license, and all just because of a stupid police officer.

The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test. Imagine driving in the dark, on a highway, at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

Me: "A car."

Officer: "Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"

Me: "I have no idea!"

Officer:"So, you're drunk."

Me:"But, I didn't drink anything."

Officer: "Okay, one more test. Imagine, you drive, in the dark, on a highway, at night, and there is one light coming at you. What is it?

Me:"A motorcycle."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer: "As I suspected. You're drunk!"

Then, I started to get really annoyed and asked a counter question of my own.

Me: "So, here's a counter question. You're driving in the dark, on a highway, at night, and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What are we looking at?"

Officer:"A prostitute, of course."

Me: "Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife, your sister or your mother?"

Things sort of went downhill from there, and, now, I have a court date to attend...