jokes to get you spanked

I( always enjoy a good laugh, or at least a smile. If you have a hilarious joke, do send it to me privately for me to post...
These are slightly funny, but would get you spanked:
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
You will be moving on her lap, but no escape!
and,as the saying goes
Now, to avoid a argument, follow this man tip:

However, this is not an absolute and definite truth
Red